Not Much Blogging Lately, I Know

I'm trying to figure out exactly why I haven't been writing much lately. I really think I've been in some kind of a slump. There are a lot of reasons, I guess. I tried to say it was because I've been quilting so much, but that's not it. A couple of ladies and I were talking at the park today (homeschoolers meet every Friday, and we go when we can.) I have come to the realization that I have been trying to blog only positive things. Maybe I am taking that philosophy a little too far. Although I don't want to drag anybody down by reading my not-quite glowing blog posts, I shouldn't avoid posts that aren't exactly perfect life. I don't mind if one of my friends share their trials or something that's bothering them in life, so why should I be afraid to do so? Life is not always "roses", and mine is surely no exception.

So, here goes. There is something that has been bothering me for quite some time. It is quite perplexing at times, and it affects our family greatly. I have mentioned tidbits before about the kids and I being gluten-free, as well as dairy-free and using very minimal soy products in our diet. This is because all 3 kids and I each exhibit different symptoms when we eat these things. (We are also all vegetarian by choice, so this complicates matters. I am quite used to being vegetarian as I was raised that way, but the GFCFSF is quite difficult because of the vege. issue.)

Well, I am not going to complain about having to eat this way. We've been dealing with it for 1 1/2 yrs. already, so that it's almost second nature by now. What is frustrating me now is our middle son's symptoms. Even following this diet very strictly, he continues to react. (I hinted at his difficulties on his birthday.) It's quite difficult, because I cannot tell if he's now reacting to nuts, or corn, or eggs. Or is it something else? Yes, I could do a rotation diet, but that seems very difficult to accomplish given the fact that he can eat very little variety as it is. Given his super-skinny physic, it's scary to think about him starving to death just because he can't eat beans on day #3 because beans are only allowed on day #6, for example.

Okay, so back to his symptoms, which is the reason for this post in the first place. When C is reacting, he is super hyper, has no impulse control, and torments the rest of us to no end. He really gets quite annoying, and even that is an understatement. This is not his normal personality, yet it's beginning to seem normal since it's going on all of the time lately. When he has a good day, he is so sweet and seems like a different person. This is why I don't like to talk about it. I am afraid that nobody will believe me, and just chalk it up to behavioral problems with little or NO discipline in the home. I know it's not true (lack of discipline), but when he is reacting very badly, I am literally afraid to take him outside of our own home. I don't want people thinking badly of him, or of us as his parents for that matter. I also realize it's hard not to judge his behavior. Truly, when he's reacting, I can hardly stand to be around him myself. Talk about guilt! How can I, his own mother, wish it were his bedtime, when it's only 9 o'clock in the morning?? And how can I help the other 2 kids tolerate and forgive, even understand his behavior when I cannot understand it myself?

There's the background of what we've been dealing with for the last 3 or more years. It has been especially bad the last few months, and does seem to be worse the older he gets. I can finally report that we might have found a supplement that just might help. I started him on 5-HTP 3 days ago, and he's been better. Even H and B have noticed it's better. I am crossing my fingers, knocking on wood, and yes, praying a LOT. Of course, I pray about it all the time, but I really don't want to get my hopes up if it's not going to last.

And you know what? It's sure a lot easier to be a nice, fun-loving mother to kids that aren't fighting all the time because one of them is continually pestering the other two!