Too Much to Write About

I will attempt to catch you up on our recent happenings. I can hardly believe I didn't write one blog post during October, but I did have a lot going on. This post will give you some of the goings-on, while keeping it a brief summary.

• Brooke started speech therapy at the local public school. It was a major pain getting her set up. In fact, it simply cements my belief in homeschool. I cannot believe the disorganization and hassles that went on just getting her started, and I am not exaggerating. In fact, today, when I took her over to the school for her scheduled session, (and it's a solid 17 min. drive one way), they made us wait 25 min. before they finally told me (after I asked them again, where the teacher was!), that she was sick today. She was sick yest. and called in again today. Hello!! Why didn't anybody call to tell me? We had to turn around and drive home with no session for our efforts. So, though it's a royal pain in the neck, we're going faithfully 2 times a week for 20 min. a session. Our drive time almost doubles her treatment time.
  
• I have been attending a women's seminar at church. It's about every 3 weeks. It is by a well-recognized local homeschool leader in our community, actually, and the meetings are very good. I've been to 4 meetings now, and there is one or two left. They have been very inspiring, and are helping me to think about how I can be a more Excellent Woman, able to influence and nurture my family for the good.
  
• The economy is hurting our construction related business pretty badly. This has been a major stressor. Trying to figure out what to do to help, I have sought part-time work that won't require me to put the kids into school. Also, hubby has a hard time getting home at a "set" time since he's running our business in town. He can't simply punch a clock and leave stuff for the next day. I had 2 solid job possibilities, but they both fell through.
  
• Another option for making some money, and certainly hubby's idea was selling stuff on ebay. I got it all set up, and sold 3 things, but the time involved, and the hassles of not getting paid, then the fees for listing the stuff, cement my distaste for the value of making any appreciable money on ebay. If it works for you, I tip my hat to you.
• Quilting--I have been quilting. I've finished 2 quilts since my MIL's quilt, and have 2 more half done, with one more started. I'll show you pictures in separate blog posts soon. Not only have I been quilting, but I've got 2 neighbors hooked as well. They are quilting away, and bring me their quilts to show me. It's neat to see them so excited about it, and it's neat to have some quilting friends to share with. My one neighbor L hadn't used a sewing machine since 7th grade in home-ec. She's about 7 yrs. older than me, so it's been a long time. But I love to see her having so much fun with it.
• Our homeschooling endeavors are going pretty well, though. We are finding much more consistency and less resistance this year. It's kind of nice to see the kids growing up in a lot of areas. Are they perfect kids? Certainly not. But we see progress in certain areas. This has not been easy either, when our school time has been cut into so much with the speech therapy.
• And finally, we have been very involved in following politics and the economy. It's pretty comical to see our kids "talk" politics and issues with people they meet when we go into town to run our errands. Even the little one can tell you what she thinks about what's been going on. All three of them are full of opinions. : )
  

Well, it doesn't look like much when I put it all down on "paper".

Not Much Blogging Lately, I Know

I'm trying to figure out exactly why I haven't been writing much lately. I really think I've been in some kind of a slump. There are a lot of reasons, I guess. I tried to say it was because I've been quilting so much, but that's not it. A couple of ladies and I were talking at the park today (homeschoolers meet every Friday, and we go when we can.) I have come to the realization that I have been trying to blog only positive things. Maybe I am taking that philosophy a little too far. Although I don't want to drag anybody down by reading my not-quite glowing blog posts, I shouldn't avoid posts that aren't exactly perfect life. I don't mind if one of my friends share their trials or something that's bothering them in life, so why should I be afraid to do so? Life is not always "roses", and mine is surely no exception.

So, here goes. There is something that has been bothering me for quite some time. It is quite perplexing at times, and it affects our family greatly. I have mentioned tidbits before about the kids and I being gluten-free, as well as dairy-free and using very minimal soy products in our diet. This is because all 3 kids and I each exhibit different symptoms when we eat these things. (We are also all vegetarian by choice, so this complicates matters. I am quite used to being vegetarian as I was raised that way, but the GFCFSF is quite difficult because of the vege. issue.)

Well, I am not going to complain about having to eat this way. We've been dealing with it for 1 1/2 yrs. already, so that it's almost second nature by now. What is frustrating me now is our middle son's symptoms. Even following this diet very strictly, he continues to react. (I hinted at his difficulties on his birthday.) It's quite difficult, because I cannot tell if he's now reacting to nuts, or corn, or eggs. Or is it something else? Yes, I could do a rotation diet, but that seems very difficult to accomplish given the fact that he can eat very little variety as it is. Given his super-skinny physic, it's scary to think about him starving to death just because he can't eat beans on day #3 because beans are only allowed on day #6, for example.

Okay, so back to his symptoms, which is the reason for this post in the first place. When C is reacting, he is super hyper, has no impulse control, and torments the rest of us to no end. He really gets quite annoying, and even that is an understatement. This is not his normal personality, yet it's beginning to seem normal since it's going on all of the time lately. When he has a good day, he is so sweet and seems like a different person. This is why I don't like to talk about it. I am afraid that nobody will believe me, and just chalk it up to behavioral problems with little or NO discipline in the home. I know it's not true (lack of discipline), but when he is reacting very badly, I am literally afraid to take him outside of our own home. I don't want people thinking badly of him, or of us as his parents for that matter. I also realize it's hard not to judge his behavior. Truly, when he's reacting, I can hardly stand to be around him myself. Talk about guilt! How can I, his own mother, wish it were his bedtime, when it's only 9 o'clock in the morning?? And how can I help the other 2 kids tolerate and forgive, even understand his behavior when I cannot understand it myself?

There's the background of what we've been dealing with for the last 3 or more years. It has been especially bad the last few months, and does seem to be worse the older he gets. I can finally report that we might have found a supplement that just might help. I started him on 5-HTP 3 days ago, and he's been better. Even H and B have noticed it's better. I am crossing my fingers, knocking on wood, and yes, praying a LOT. Of course, I pray about it all the time, but I really don't want to get my hopes up if it's not going to last.

And you know what? It's sure a lot easier to be a nice, fun-loving mother to kids that aren't fighting all the time because one of them is continually pestering the other two!

Relaxing the Blogging, but Not Quitting

As with everything I do, when I am excited about something I jump into it full force. 150%, full-blown obsession. When I started blogging, it was no different. I tend to be a perfectionist, and over-do it on some things. I started reading several people's blogs all at the same time, and had to catch up with everything! And starting mine, it took a while to figure out how to do it all. Then the posting began, and I felt like I was posting a lot. (I know some of you told me that I didn't write much, but for me it was a lot since I am not much of a writer.) I realized that I could not keep up that pace for long, and you notice that this past week I didn't post for a while. I think I have just come off the "high" of the initial running start, and am now realizing that I want to keep blogging, just not let it rule my life. I will post as I feel like, and not pressure myself to write everyday (or every other day!), or to write about everything we are doing in our life. I didn't think I would have anything to write about, but this family never seems to have a dull moment after all! So, I will not be taking a hiatus this holiday season, but will probably step back somewhat to let more of our life "happen" around us.

I think another strategy for me will be to not agonize so much trying to polish my posts to perfection before posting them. It's taking me too long to publish a post. So I apologize ahead of time if relaxing a bit turns my posts into something more garbled! But at least I'll be writing. Hey, you might get a laugh out of the whole deal. I know I need to laugh more. My childhood situation did not lend itself to laughter. Things were far too serious and it affected me in a very big way. I am not dwelling on the past when I tell you this. I am simply explaining a little bit about why I may be so critical of myself. For a long time, I didn't know things any other way. But it's hard for me even now to open up and "be real". I think that is why I admire some of my blogging friends so much when they show so much of their real selves. We're all human, aren't we? We can judge each other all we want to, but we're really all so much alike it's staggering to think about.

I know this journal writing is therapeutic for me. It helps me to learn more about myself. It makes me really LOOK at life and what is happening around me. It helps me to appreciate the little things. Basically, it's got me thinking, pretty much about everything under the sun! I also like the fact that the blogging helps me to hone, or rather, re-learn my writing skills. Maybe it's sharpening my thinking skills even more than polishing my writing abilities. I don't know what happened to my intelligent brain. When I was in college, I never sat down to write anything in my spare time just for the fun of it. But when called upon to produce an essay on demand in one of my classes, I would amaze myself at what I could come up with. How did my brilliantly organized brain turn to mush? It's funny, but I realize my talking abilities have disappeared as well. I find myself using the wrong words all the time. I'll tell the kids to put their dirty dishes in the fridge, when I really mean the kitchen sink. I'll call the kids the wrong names (sometimes even using the dogs' names for theirs!), and say the wrong quantity when reading a number out loud. I try and talk to people outside our family and embarrass myself because I stumble and use the wrong words so much. It's even more embarrassing when I have to pause and think for 15 seconds before the word I'm looking for comes to my mind. But I guess that's the breaks of multi-tasking all the time. Or maybe it's old age setting in. Who knows. But it definitely has a way of humbling a person. Maybe I needed to be humbled.

Look how bad my brain is anymore. I am way off track. Another reason I need to blog is to share our family happenings with extended family. We have family living in several different states, all pretty far away from Florida. It's an easy way for them to see pictures of the kids, and to help them know what goes on in our world. It's much easier to write once and get it over with than to write the same email 5 or 6 times. I was very bad at writing letters, I know. Sorry about that. This way I am actually writing! So, I hope you guys are all enjoying the posts. I know several family members aren't leaving any comments, but I think they are reading. Okay, enough of a boring subject. I'm off to start composing a more interesting post, unless I get sidetracked with life.