Relaxing the Blogging, but Not Quitting

As with everything I do, when I am excited about something I jump into it full force. 150%, full-blown obsession. When I started blogging, it was no different. I tend to be a perfectionist, and over-do it on some things. I started reading several people's blogs all at the same time, and had to catch up with everything! And starting mine, it took a while to figure out how to do it all. Then the posting began, and I felt like I was posting a lot. (I know some of you told me that I didn't write much, but for me it was a lot since I am not much of a writer.) I realized that I could not keep up that pace for long, and you notice that this past week I didn't post for a while. I think I have just come off the "high" of the initial running start, and am now realizing that I want to keep blogging, just not let it rule my life. I will post as I feel like, and not pressure myself to write everyday (or every other day!), or to write about everything we are doing in our life. I didn't think I would have anything to write about, but this family never seems to have a dull moment after all! So, I will not be taking a hiatus this holiday season, but will probably step back somewhat to let more of our life "happen" around us.

I think another strategy for me will be to not agonize so much trying to polish my posts to perfection before posting them. It's taking me too long to publish a post. So I apologize ahead of time if relaxing a bit turns my posts into something more garbled! But at least I'll be writing. Hey, you might get a laugh out of the whole deal. I know I need to laugh more. My childhood situation did not lend itself to laughter. Things were far too serious and it affected me in a very big way. I am not dwelling on the past when I tell you this. I am simply explaining a little bit about why I may be so critical of myself. For a long time, I didn't know things any other way. But it's hard for me even now to open up and "be real". I think that is why I admire some of my blogging friends so much when they show so much of their real selves. We're all human, aren't we? We can judge each other all we want to, but we're really all so much alike it's staggering to think about.

I know this journal writing is therapeutic for me. It helps me to learn more about myself. It makes me really LOOK at life and what is happening around me. It helps me to appreciate the little things. Basically, it's got me thinking, pretty much about everything under the sun! I also like the fact that the blogging helps me to hone, or rather, re-learn my writing skills. Maybe it's sharpening my thinking skills even more than polishing my writing abilities. I don't know what happened to my intelligent brain. When I was in college, I never sat down to write anything in my spare time just for the fun of it. But when called upon to produce an essay on demand in one of my classes, I would amaze myself at what I could come up with. How did my brilliantly organized brain turn to mush? It's funny, but I realize my talking abilities have disappeared as well. I find myself using the wrong words all the time. I'll tell the kids to put their dirty dishes in the fridge, when I really mean the kitchen sink. I'll call the kids the wrong names (sometimes even using the dogs' names for theirs!), and say the wrong quantity when reading a number out loud. I try and talk to people outside our family and embarrass myself because I stumble and use the wrong words so much. It's even more embarrassing when I have to pause and think for 15 seconds before the word I'm looking for comes to my mind. But I guess that's the breaks of multi-tasking all the time. Or maybe it's old age setting in. Who knows. But it definitely has a way of humbling a person. Maybe I needed to be humbled.

Look how bad my brain is anymore. I am way off track. Another reason I need to blog is to share our family happenings with extended family. We have family living in several different states, all pretty far away from Florida. It's an easy way for them to see pictures of the kids, and to help them know what goes on in our world. It's much easier to write once and get it over with than to write the same email 5 or 6 times. I was very bad at writing letters, I know. Sorry about that. This way I am actually writing! So, I hope you guys are all enjoying the posts. I know several family members aren't leaving any comments, but I think they are reading. Okay, enough of a boring subject. I'm off to start composing a more interesting post, unless I get sidetracked with life.