My eldest, is by nature, unmotivated. Some would call it laziness, but I know in my heart it's something different. He seems to walk to the beat of a different drum. He does not fit anybody else's "box", but is always thinking, pondering, wondering about stuff, and off in his own little world. I have seen him get passionate about things before, and when he does, whew! Look at him go! I never know what is going to strike his fancy, and how long it will last, but it is always a whirlwind when it does hit. I know that these character traits can be a good thing if he so chooses, but that's the tricky part. He needs to be brave enough and motivated enough, and then actually choose the right way. I have done some reading about people like Thomas Edison. In fact, we saw a play about him about a year ago. H is so similar to him in so many ways. Edison even had trouble in school, was misunderstood by his teachers, and his mother pulled him out of school to homeschool him!
Now, H has never been in "real" school, but I shudder to think what it would have done to his self esteem if he had. I don't believe the average teacher would understand his differences like I do. Yet, do I even understand?? (And how could they? They are quite busy with 24 other kids to worry about. A friend of mine actually taught 33 second graders, without a teacher's assistant!! H. could very easily just slip through the cracks.) Then add to that H's sense of perfectionism, and he would be devastated if he were compared to other kids all day long.
I have to admit, even I get frustrated at times, since I can be quite stubborn, plodding along with my own blinders on about the way things *ought* to be! It's hard for me to get him motivated about anything. I have trouble determining the fine line between where he is, vs. where I think he should be, vs. where the world thinks he should be. Yeah, I know I shouldn't look at the world's perception of things. True enough. But now I am faced with wondering if I am doing right by him according to God's standards. He values the work ethic of the ant! The Bible states over and over how important it is to seek wisdom, to be productive, to do everything you do with all your might. But what if I can't get him to do *anything*? I mean really, sometimes it can take him an hour to complete a 10 minute job. He reminds me of a turtle or a snail, he's so slow. The sloth also comes to mind when describing him!
When it comes to school work, please don't get the idea that I am pushing too much too soon for him. He is a grade or two behind where he should be for his age. A large part of the reason for this was undiagnosed gluten and casein intolerance. He would get headaches and couldn't think straight. He was lethargic, complained of fatigue, and was quite mopey and even acting depressed! We took the offending foods out of his diet, and he began to read by leaps and bounds. His headaches were gone, and he reported a clear head as well. So, although things are much better than they were, it's still an issue to be dealt with, especially since we have to catch up, making up for lost time!
I have prayed long and hard about this for some time now. We have had discussions about how he is getting old enough that he needs to consciously pick his own path in life. Mom and Dad can't be with him 24 hrs. a day, for the rest of his life, to continually prod him along in the right direction. Choose productivity; choose a higher path; choose friends who encourage and build you up; choose excellence in all things! Just don't embrace apathy. Choosing nothing, by default, is choosing failure.
Well, I have good news to report. I have noticed improvements in this area. They may be nearly imperceptible at times, but they are improvements none the less. The other day, while I was in the shower and then dressing for the day, he sat down to do some school work all on his own. One subject had him stumped after a few pages, so he started on a second subject. He even influenced his younger brother to work on his school work too! (We have also longed for him to take a more active roll in encouraging his younger siblings instead of criticizing them.) This was just amazing to me, and I told him how proud of him I was. Now, just today, he told me he wanted to finish his math workbook in 6 days. We got out the calender and marked the days, giving him the weekend off. We did the math on the pages remaining in his book, and he has to do 22 pages every day to reach his goal, and thereby finish the book. I was a bit nervous with him setting such a lofty goal for himself. I know he doesn't need more failure. But today, he kept coming back to his open math book throughout the day, and actually completed 25 pages before he quit for the day. I corrected everything, and there were only a couple things that were incorrect.
So you see, I am quite excited about all this. I have been praying about his character flaws, and he knows it. I see him praying too, I just haven't asked him about what. But it's working! Yeah, it's starting to pay off. And thanks be to God above for these improvements. So, I will continue to pray for myself also; that God will grant me a few things: wisdom, patience, understanding, and LOVE for my son.