Family Dynamics

B has been called by others, "the rose between two thorns". I have mixed feelings about that saying. Yes, she is definitely a rose, so innocent and sweet. But my boys aren't necessarily thorns. However, being the youngest of 3 kids, and the only daughter of our family, she does indeed hold a special place in our hearts.

Before B came along, my hubby was known to say that, for us "Two kids is more than enough!" Once B joined our family, we certainly wouldn't ever dream of sending her back, but I am awestruck at God's wisdom to send her our way. People would often tell me that I needed a little girl because I "only" had 2 boys. I used to get a little upset by that. First of all, I had 2 wonderful, healthy boys, and a husband who loved me. What more could I want? That is so much more than some people have. I am so blessed. Secondly, what were they saying about the boys, anyway? That they weren't terrific kids whom I loved with my whole heart? When we found out we were expecting again, baby #3, H said that God would send us a girl because He knew that we needed a sister. Oh, the wisdom of a 5 yr. old boy! Yes, we needed a girl in our family, and we had yet to find out why.

It's amazing what she does for our family dynamics. She's still such a little girl, yet her influence is tremendous. We needed rescuing, of sorts, at least I did. How can one little girl accomplish that huge feat? Well, she helps bring our family into balance. With a husband who is very strong and "manly", and two hearty boys following in his footsteps, I might have been highly misunderstood. Add to that the fact that my hubby never had any sisters, so his understandings of the female gender were probably somewhat lacking, to put it mildly. : ) And I have never been good at explaining things to hubby. Somehow I feel like he should just *know* in his heart what makes me tick! That's horrible on my part, I know, but I can't help it. I still have lots of scars from childhood that are healing. But now, my husband can see how different our daughter is from our sons. This translates into how different I am from "the guys", because I am a girl too!

And the reverse is also true. Because we see how different B is from the boys, I can understand my boys so much better than I ever could have without her in our family. I also appreciate my husband a lot more too since she arrived. In truth, a lot of this lack of understanding about gender differences is because I didn't have a brother growing up, nor did I have the influence of a reliable, encouraging father figure for most of my upbringing. (I had a step-dad eventually, but not during the formative years. The damage had already been done.) How thankful I am, that God saw the gap in our family, and knew that we needed B. She helps my husband and boys appreciate me more, and she certainly helps me appreciate them too!

Now, I am by no means saying that other families have the same requirements, or needs that we had. I never tell someone that they must have a girl (or boy) in their family to make it complete. It really is a God-thing. He knew what was best for us, and provided it for us, even before we even knew what our need was! I also believe that sometimes God provides in very different ways, whether it be via understandings, healing, friends, or experiences, to fill in the gaps. It is not always with another child. Every family, every situation, is very different.